“Feeling stuck in life” – it’s a common theme I hear a lot with my clients. In fact I’ve said it myself from time to time. It’s a weird mix of feelings that come from not enjoying certain areas or all areas of your life and not knowing what to do change it. To our minds it literally feels like we are stuck and it seems like there’s nothing that will be able to get us out of it.
However, being stuck in life is a mind illusion. When we tell ourselves that we feel stuck, we literally create this in our life. The only thing that is really stuck is our thinking.
When we feel this way our minds are stuck on:
- Everything that we don’t like or what isn’t working in our life (our weight, our finances, our love life, or our careers)
- Things we don’t enjoy doing (going to work, dieting & exercising, budgeting & making more money, dating & relationships, or day to day life chores)
- Telling the story that we don’t know what to do to change it
- Telling the story that we don’t even know what we want
But what we are truly wanting when we are in this state of being is just to feel better. We’re tired of feeling stuck with the same emotions day to day that don’t feel good whether it is feeling afraid, sad, frustrated, anxious, bored or even numb. We’re tired of that list of what our minds keep us focused on every day.
The good news is that it can be easily changed. Shifting your focus (your thoughts and emotions) is something that is in your control even when you’re feeling stuck. Here’s a quick way to start shifting your focus by choosing how you want to feel in any given moment:
- Start with something small such as doing laundry or the dishes or cooking. Before you start the activity, decide how you want to feel. Example: I choose to feel calm.
- Ask yourself what can I think that will help me feel this? Example: I enjoy the simple things in life or I don’t have to do anything it’s always a choice and I’m choosing to do the “dishes” right now.
- During the activity, find things to appreciate about it. Example: (Doing the dishes) Appreciate you have all the supplies to finish the task, appreciate you have the hot water available, appreciate you have hands to be able to do the task, appreciate the smell of the dish soap, appreciate having dirty dishes means you have food to eat, etc. It helps to state them as “I appreciate that”.
Deciding that you are going to be in control of how you feel every day – is the quickest way to change your life especially when you’re feeling stuck. When you start getting your mind focused more on how you choose to feel and then deliberately choosing those thoughts that feel better, then little by little the feeling of being stuck will disappear. In the end that’s really the solution we are looking for.